Now, to the important stuff. 

DE-CODING YOUR FEMALE FRIEND OR GIRLFRIEND
Girls are never straight forward to guys and if they are, you're just one in a million..(Keep her close!). But its natural for girls to say something and mean an entirely different thing. And for you to actually understand, comprehend and act the way she wanted you to..is a hell of a job! And to do your job right, keep reading!

DE-CODE THE RIGHT WAY OR FACE THE FUMES -

#1 GIRL - I am having such a bad day! (She wants you to sympathize/empathize her)
BOY - Oh. (Don't say that unless you have your running shoes with you)
What would be the right thing to say?
BOY - Really? I'm sorry. What is bothering you? Is it your crazy fish faced classmate? (To be on the safer side, always be enemies with her enemies) And always agree with her!

#2 GIRL - I look hideous! (She expects you to actually tell her how great she looks)
BOY - Ha ha! HI-5! It's OK.
Don't be surprised if she HI-5's you on your face! It will be better if you say this..
BOY- Of course you don't! You look great. In fact, let's take a picture together to prove how beautiful you look!

#3 GIRL - Hey! I am so excited! You know what happened today? Blah..blah..blah..
BOY - Hmmmm hmm mm Oh hmmm hmm...
Congrats! You will be blocked or deleted from her contacts in 10 seconds. 10..9..8..
Even if the conversation is boring, act like you're enjoying it. She could probably tell her story to somebody else. But she chose you. Respect her choice.

#4 GIRL - I will not be able to text you/ talk to you the whole day. (She wants you to ask her the reason..or feel sad that she will not be able to talk to you!)
BOY - Oh, OK.
She might probably not talk to you the rest of her life.
When she tells you the above, try reacting in a better way. Ask her why or if it's possible for her to at least text you in the mean time.

#5 GIRL - I don't think I can make it today. (Beg her to come!!!!)
BOY - K.
The whole week, if she's going to reply in one word, 'S' She is mad at you.
Girls like it when you ask a lot of questions and let them talk. But they like it even more when you send them long texts or give them long replies. It makes them feel important. Never reply with a letter.

It is OK when you don't understand something your friend tells you. Ask her politely if that is what she meant. Do not misinterpret. NEVER ASSUME.